The Universal Child Speaks

This is good.  The second portion really struck with me.  Read it all.

(written by Bruce Scott)


· Include me before making decisions that affect me.

· Do not throw anything away that belongs to me, unless I
am asked first.

· Find out what my experience is like with friends, or the
teachers in school, and believe me. Take action if necessary. Stand
up for me too, as a person.

· Talk to me in the same voice you talk to adults with

· Respect my interests even though they may seem just cute
to you

· Do not refer to me as a “terrible two”

· See me as a whole feeling person when I am a teenager.
Do not write me off as raging hormones or “just a teenager.” I will
do the same for you no matter what your age.

· If you are afraid for me, tell me so honestly with your

· Do not punish me, ever. Teach me. Hold me. Love me.
Trust that I, just like you, want to do what is right, and don’t want
to hurt anyone.

· Help me understand what I don’t know. Don’t call me
names, or label me or compare me, or make me compete for anything.
Help me cooperate and collaborate. Be the example for me.

· Hug me, Kiss me, and Hold me a lot. Be kind with your

· If you are upset with something in your life, know when
you are upset. Don’t be angry with me or blame me, or judge me. If
you want me to know something and hear you, notice your voice and
angry or judgmental thoughts before you give them to me. I, like
you, do not feel good when I am admonished, made wrong or blamed. It
just doesn’t feel good. I want to hear and understand you. I like
being connected.

· If you feel embarrassed by something I am doing, hug me.
Come closer. I am being myself completely. If I need to be more
aware of others, I want to know that. I can hear your kind voice
remind me.

· When you are with me, be completely with me. If you are
in your thoughts, pretending to be with me, then you are not with me
at all.

· Treat me exactly like you would want me to treat you.

· Assume that I see everything. I am exquisitely sensitive
and can feel pretense, falseness, and hidden agendas. I can also
feel love.

· Know when you are sarcastic. Sarcasm is mean and creates
distance, hurt and separates us, almost without noticing. Humor
brings us together.

· If I am fidgety, seem bored, have difficulty sitting
still, talk too much, appear to have a short attention span, please
join with me. Ask me, with an attitude of wonder, what my experience
is in the classroom, or wherever I appear to not want to be. I am
not ADD or ADHD, or any diagnosis. I simply want to be where there
is life, movement and creativity happening (ask me what I mean by all
this). Together, we’ll find understanding.

· Finally, Be yourself, and if you don’t know for sure,
what yourself is, ask me.

“Many have come to teach the holiness of God,
but still there is not peace in the world.

Many have come to teach the holiness of man,
and still there is not peace in the world.

When many come to teach the holiness of children,
then there will be peace in the world.”

Rabbi Schlomo Carlbach


· When it looks like I am having what you call a tantrum, it is
all I know to do to make contact, to be heard, to be taken seriously,
to be held. I am not wanting to bother anyone, or cause trouble

· I am naturally creative. Notice how I make things out of
leaves, or sticks, or bubbles, or crayons. Notice how I like to
climb and explore, and discover everything all at once. Listen to my
imagination at work. That’s not just kid stuff. This is what you
might do too if you would join with me.

· Sometimes, I know what to do without reading written
instructions. I don’t have words for it, I just know. I have the
ability to see how things go together. I may do things differently
than the way you learned. That’s ok. Both ways may work. And
anyway, I have fun finding my own way. The destination doesn’t
matter that much.

· I may take longer than you’d like, completing something. That
is because I am in no hurry to get anything done. I haven’t learned
yet that hurrying, being busy and always anxious, are fun.

· I do not need you to always say Yes to me. Actually, yes or
no doesn’t matter. What matters is how you hold me in your heart,
how you see me, and your appreciation for me. ‘Cause when you
appreciate me, and see through my eyes too, a yes or no will always
be the right thing for both of us.

· No matter how old I am, three years old, sixteen, or forty-
five, I am not intending to deceive you, take advantage of you, use
you or disrespect you. If you have those thoughts or the belief that
I am “asking too much,” that is not my intent. I am really, searching
out ways to make contact, and to be with you, for you to acknowledge
my presence.

· When I cry, I am feeling. Crying can be like sneezing,
feeling close to you, singing or running. It is just my body
expressing itself. I might have been sad, or hurt or afraid. When I
am feeling in my body, I am relieved. All you need do is be present
with me so that I know you are there, but not try to stop me or make
me feel better.

· I am wise. I know things. I see things. I know naturally
what I need to know. I believe and trust myself and my intuition.
Unless I learn to mistrust myself.

· I sometimes feel safe in the world. Sometimes I don’t. If I
feel or sense something, and others don’t, (maybe even make fun of
me), I get even more scared. I can feel so alone and wrong. It
helps when you take me seriously, regardless of my age, and ask me
more questions about what I “see,” feel or sense. I might be seeing
something you need to know.

· I am your gift. I am not just a little person who needs to be
“raised” and taught, and taken to activities. I am not in your life
by accident. Incredible or unbelievable as this may sound, I came to
the people in my life to bring a message: slow down. Feel. Be. Over
and over again. When you do, you will notice immediately that I am
not an obstacle to your work, or inconvenient to your daily life.
Instead, you will come to appreciate my honesty, humor, presence and



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March 2008

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